Ah, the summer fling. We’ve all been there – the parkas go into storage, the shorts and swimsuits come out, and suddenly everybody’s looking for that special someone to share a piled-high ice cream cone with.
But really – be honest – do you actually want to share that ice cream cone? Is the person on the other side of it really worth compromising your relationship with Ben and Jerry?
We say euphoria comes first, and your summer fling should be with your favorite pint. Here’s why:
Item number 1
A Pint is Always Up for a Good Time.
Have you ever asked a pint of Ben & Jerry’s if it was up for a trip to the beach or the movies and had it say “Nah, not interested.” Didn’t think so.
Item number 2
It’s Okay if you Catch Feelings.
Think you might be falling head over heels for Peanut Butter Cup? That’s okay. Peanut Butter Cup is always ready to take it to the next level. Just don’t ask him to pick you up at the airport.
Item number 3
It’s an Open Relationship.
Item number 4
They’re Always Insta-Ready.
Longing for love on your Instagram feed? Your pint is perfectly poised for a couple selfie—just you two at the beach, in a boat, on a paddleboard, on a rooftop. Just make sure you’re ready for all the little hearts coming your way. #pint
Item number 5
Meeting their Friends is Actually Awesome.
Item number 6
A Pint Never Expects Too Much.
A comfy spot in the freezer is all a pint needs – no midnight text messages, no last-minute cancellations, no misunderstandings. Just the good stuff.
Item number 7
A Pint’s Always There For You.
Need a sympathetic ear? A shoulder to cry on? Chocolate Therapy’s always there for you when you need it – despite not having any ears or shoulders.
Item number 8
It’s a Fling That Can Last All Year Long.
Chunky Monkey’s not going back to school in the fall or moving to Portland to start a pickle company. You can enjoy Chunky Monkey for as long as you like. Or at least until Pumpkin Cheesecake comes back.
Item number 9
You know exactly what you’re going to get when you dig into a pint – it’s right there on the pack. No hidden pasts, no unwelcome surprises, no junior high games, just lid-flippin’ good times.
Item number 10
Discretion is Their Middle Name.
Spoon the summer away with reckless abandon – don’t worry, all your secrets are safe with Half Baked.