It all started with a few scoops at lunch. Next thing you knew, it was ice cream over everything. Now you’re hopelessly addicted to the siren of sweetness, temptress of tasty swirls and gooey chunks. It doesn’t matter what way, shape, or form—pint, cone, bowl, milkshake, cake, bar—you need your Ben & Jerry's, and you need it now.
It’s ok, though, we know the struggles. So we conducted a completely unscientific study and identified ten signs that could mean your love of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream has gone too far.
Item number 1
You Panic at the Sight of an Empty Freezer
It’s Saturday night, and you’re about to settle in for the season premiere of your favorite show. You open the freezer for that finishing touch and…NOOO! Oh, the horror of a freezer void of Ben & Jerry’s.
Item number 2
You're Paranoid About Leaving Your Stash Home Alone
If your freezer features hidden cameras and booby traps to protect your stash from the sticky fingers of your roommates or partner…yeah, you definitely have a problem.
Item number 3
The Local Scoop Shop Knows You By Name
Every day you take the long way home, just so you can see your local Scoop Shop and ensure it’s still there. Things get blurry, then all of a sudden you’re scarfing down a cone, a sundae, a milkshake…
Item number 4
You Stress at the Thought of Sharing
Sharing is caring, right? But will they hoard the chunks or scarf it all down in one scoop? You hover over them like a hawk, screaming on the inside as they savor each scoop.
Item number 5
You Fear the Flavor Graveyard
Spiders, snakes, an audit by the IRS…none of that scares you, but the mere thought of your favorite fixation retiring to Ben & Jerry’s Flavor Graveyard is enough to incite sheer panic.
Item number 6
You Struggle To Wait for Your Pint to Soften
The minutes feel like hours as your pint softens for optimal scoop-ability. For you, these meltdowns are just too much, and you’ve tried everything to speed it up—the microwave, a hair dryer, even your own body heat.
Item number 7
It's Taking Over Your Love Life
Whether it’s your first date or 50th anniversary, you seem to think the most romantic spot is your nearest Scoop Shop. That’s definitely out of the ordinary, and it’s making your love life colder than a pint of Karamel Sutra.
Item number 8
It's Impacting Your Friendships
You have zero tolerance for lactose intolerance. Inviting friends over who can’t eat it, or just don’t like ice cream is far too frustrating. The good news on this one is we do have a solution in the works: a little something called Ben & Jerry’s Non-Dairy.
Item number 9
An Ice Cream Headache is Your New Normal
You dive into your favorite pint without hesitation, and every single time your brain freezes solid. Yet strangely, you’ve grown to enjoy it. It’s exciting, we know, but seriously…slow down!
Item number 10
You Even Cook & Bake with Ice Cream
Every time Ben & Jerry’s posts another recipe, you immediately run to the store and buy all the ingredients. Like that time you made chocolate chip cookies just so you had something to sandwich Ben & Jerry’s Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ice cream in between.
Well, how did you do? Even if you can only relate to one thing on the list, it’s a sure sign that your cravings could mean more. It’s ok though, it’s only ice cream. We won’t tell.