What’s Your Sign? Flavor Horoscopes That Will Blow Your Mind

July 1, 2016

ice cream constellations

We know that you can tell a lot about someone from their favorite flavor. And that got us thinking: can you predict someone’s favorite flavor by their astrological sign? Well, we’ve looked to the stars and they gave us an answer: “It is decidedly so.” (Or maybe we were talking to our Magic 8 Ball?) 

Here, lovers of the zodiac and ice cream, are your flavorscopes.

Aquarius (January 20-February 18)

You’re an independent thinker who demands originality from yourself and others, but a sense of compassion is at your core. That’s why you’ll find yourself drawn to Brownie Batter Core, an innovative flavor concoction that allows everybody to share in the brownie goodness, scoop after scoop.

Pisces (February 19-March 20)

Ah, Pisces, so gentle, intuitive, musical, and wise. The world needs more like you. And you need more Cherry Garcia. Its euphoric combination of cherry ice cream, cherries, and fudge will be music to your ears (and a sensation to your taste buds as well).

Aries (March 21-April 19)

Karamel Sutra Core is reserved for only the most passionate, honest, and optimistic lovers of ice cream. Luckily, that’s exactly who you are, Aries. When you feel an unbearable urge to drift in this caramel-infused daydream, don’t hesitate—give in (and dig in). Right away.

Taurus (April 20-May 20)

They say you’re reliable, steady, someone to be counted on. And that’s true. But they often miss how uncompromising you are when it comes to seeking out the finest pleasures life has to offer. Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough is calling to you: a perennial favorite, packed with untold delights.

Gemini (May 21-June 20)

You’re known for being quick-witted, curious, and affectionate. The world fascinates you, but you’re always ready for a laugh. This month, you will be confronted with a choice: accept a decadent, yet lighthearted treat, or turn it down. Of course you’ll say yes, Gemini, to Tonight Dough: it is your soulflavor.

Cancer (June 21-July 22)

Two words: Chocolate Therapy. You will gaze longingly into the sublime swirls of chocolate pudding ice cream. You’ll tear up at the profusion of chocolate cookies. We know how sensitive and emotional you can be, Cancer. You care so much! And so do we.

Leo (July 23-August 22)

A confident, natural-born leader, you know you’re hard to resist, don’t you? Well, prepare to meet your match. Half Baked is our most popular flavor and when you stare into a pint full of brownie chunks and cookie-dough hunks, you’ll melt before it does.

Virgo (August 23-September 22)

We’ve all heard about how methodical, detail-oriented, and careful Virgos are. But sometimes, everyone has to loosen that top button. Now is that time. You’re going to love your walk on the wild side with Everything But The…, a flavor that embraces chaos in the most delicious way possible.

Libra (September 23-October 22)

We love how you love cooperation and partnership, peace and understanding. After all, we like to think we have much the same approach to life…and ice cream. Be on the lookout for Phish Food, a perfect match—from how the marshmallow swirl harmonizes with the caramel and fudge to how we worked together with Phish until this flavor was just right.

Scorpio (October 23-November 21)

Scorpios: decisive and determined, fierce and fiery. When you play, you play to win—and when you win, you know how to celebrate. This month, victory will be all the sweeter when you dive in spoon-first to Boom Chocolatta Cookie Core. You earned it, and the prize is all yours.

Sagittarius (November 22-December 22)

For as long as you can remember, you’ve been searching for the meaning to life. You’ve got a big heart, but you’re so restless. Good news! You’re about to find what you’ve always been looking for: Milk & Cookies. Wait: an ice cream flavor is the meaning to life? Try some, and you tell us.

Capricorn (December 22-January 19)

Oh, Capricorn, you’re so so so serious and disciplined. We know you don’t like taking advice, but you’ve got to start enjoying yourself. You’ll be time-traveling this month, back to when you were a kid on a summer camping trip. The campfire is optional, but eating a pint of S’mores is not. Looks like you’re smiling already!