The history of Ben & Jerry’s is filled with more flavors than you can shake a scoop at. Some, like Half Baked, Cherry Garcia and Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough, retain their popularity year after year. Others, like Peanut Butter and Jelly and Miz Jelena’s Sweet Potato Pie, never stood a chance. Then you have Vermonty Python, our tribute to Monty Python’s unique brand of absurd comic genius.
Fans loved the flavor even more than Monty Python’s Venezuelan Beaver Cheese. Impossible to believe, we know, but there was something about our mix of coffee liqueur ice cream with a chocolate cookie crumb swirl and tiny fudge cows that people simply couldn’t resist. The pints flew from grocer’s freezers faster than an African Swallow carrying a coconut. From 2006-2008, Vermonty Python was all the rage. Then it was gone.
Some say it suffered a flesh wound. Others argue that strange flavor gurus lying in Vermont distributing pints was no basis for a system of ice cream. Either way, it’s passed on. The pint is no more. It has ceased to be. It’s expired and gone to meet its maker. Bereft of life, the pint rests in peace.
Go on. Clench your fists in rage. Throw the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch. Fart in our general direction if it so pleases you, but there’s nothing you could do that would make us bring out our dead flavor. Unless you were a witch. Then and only then would you have the power to make Vermonty Python magically appear at your local Scoop Shop. You would have to be careful, though. One minute you’re a witch, bringing back ice cream flavors and turning people into newts, and the next minute people want you to burn.
It’s sad that the flavor is gone, but sometimes that’s just the way the world works. You bring someone a shrubbery, and they demand you cut down the mightiest tree in the forest using only a herring as your tool. It doesn’t make any sense, but then again, nonsense never does.