February 23, 2017
Spooning in the Dark
The clock strikes midnight. Your eyes open to narrow slits as you peer into the darkness. Can you see a chink of light showing under that door? No? Good. Slowly, you slide your stockinged feet out of bed, pausing for a moment to listen for movement. Your bunny slippers dampen the sound as you creep across the floor—barely breathing!—and out of the bedroom. You tiptoe down the hall and sidle into the kitchen. There’s still no sound from the rest of the house as you ease open the freezer door.
And there, bathed in the glowing fluorescence of your freezer light, sits your stash of Ben & Jerry’s. (It’s a beautiful sight.) You choose your flavor, palm a spoon out of the drawer, and sneak over to the couch to indulge that most enjoyable of tasks: Spooning in the dark with a pint of Ben & Jerry’s.
There’s really no wrong time to eat a pint of Ben & Jerry’s, and there’s no wrong flavor. (Probably because there’s just something so right about cuddling up with a pint when the rest of the house is asleep.) That said, we do have a few favorites that we think deserve a cuddle marathon next time you’re tip-toeing through the house with dreamy, creamy euphoria on your mind.
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Chubby Hubby
It’s only fair to warn you: there are lots of fuddy-duddy scientists out there who say eating after 8 p.m. is bad for your waistline. But we just can’t say no to this vanilla-y, peanutty, fudge-covered pretzel-y combo. So let’s just call this little midnight session an excellent way to jumpstart your metabolism for the next day!
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Chocolate Fudge Brownie
Rumor has it that lots of late nights—and some stainless steel hatchets—were involved in the making of the first pint of Chocolate Fudge Brownie, 25-plus years ago. (Something about frozen Greyston brownies that were even, uh, chunkier than usual.) But those late nights paid off for ice-cream eaters everywhere when the first pints of Chocolate Fudge Brownie appeared in stores. We think it’s high time to salute those all-night efforts with a spoon and a pint ’round the clock.
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Phish Food
When “you step into the freezer,” Phish Food is the Sugar Shack of It’s Ice cream. After Midnight, our Poor Heart is lost in the chocolate, marshmallow, and caramel while we Taste the Theme from the Bottom of the pint.
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Strawberry Cheesecake
Chunks, nuts, and doughs may be all right for some, but if you just need a little nip of something tasty, Strawberry Cheesecake is your jam for a sweet-dreams session. (And with all of those strawberries in there, you can even pretend it’s healthy, too!)
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Cinnamon Buns
If your stealthy assault on the freezer took you more than one minute past midnight, congratulations! It’s officially the next morning. And we all know what that means: BREAKFAST! With Cinnamon Buns, of course.
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Half Baked
If ever there was a companion to late-night ice-cream scarfing, it’d be late-night cookie baking. But when you can’t risk waking the rest of the house by filling it with the delicious smell of cookies browning, you gotta go for the dough. We make it even easier: simply crack open a pint of Half Baked to spoon up the fudge chunks and chocolate-chip cookie dough that give this pint its unique name.
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Triple Caramel Chunk
If your late-night diversions include binging on all things that come in threes (say, a trio of adventures in a galaxy far, far away, three Middle-Earth meanderings, or three spidery superheroes), Triple Caramel Chunk is the pint for you. It’s a serious thrillogy starring caramel ice cream, caramel swirls, and chewy caramel chunks—perfect for those nights when all good things come in threes. Come to think of it, if you invite another spoonholder to the mix, the two of you—plus this pint—could have a very cuddly threesome…
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Americone Dream
Ever wake up from a dream in the middle of the night and wish it were real? Well, if visions of fudge-covered waffle-cone chunks and bright swirls of caramel were filling your slumbering head, then you’re in luck! Just tiptoe down to the freezer and make your Americone Dream a reality. And hey, if your timing’s right, you can watch Stephen Colbert doing his Late Show while you curl up with his namesake flavor on the couch. Talk about a dream come true!
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New York Super Fudge Chunk
They say New York is the city that never sleeps, so if you’re late-night munchin’ on this fudge-, nut- and chocolate-packed somethin’ somethin’, we can guarantee you have company somewhere in the Big Apple. Not a New York resident? That’s ok. If you can eat it there, you can eat it anywhere—and you absolutely should.
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The Tonight Dough
Guys, this one is a natural for after-dark chewing and viewing. But we’re gonna warn you: those gobs of cookie dough taste way better going down than they do coming back up again—so if you’re gonna snort with laughter at Jimmy Fallon’s jokes (and you probably will), please be sure to swallow first. Your upholstery thanks you.
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Karamel Sutra
There’s something strangely thrilling about eating ice cream alone after dark. You can eat it however you want to: chunks first; swirls second; in a bowl, or straight out of the pint. Hey, no one’s watching! But we’ve gotta admit: This flavor just cries out for company. So grab an extra spoon and your favorite ice cream-loving sweetie: Karamel Sutra’s just made for spooning in the dark!
What are your favorite flavors for after midnight? Is ice cream really better after the sun goes down? Share your thoughts in the comments below!